Get Out
Microslop owns more of your life than you think. This page covers how to escape all of it.
Escape Windows
Microslop has been ensloppifying their main product that defined their user base in the first place over the last decade. They dismantled their QA (Quality Assurance) department to save money and make YOU, the end user, a beta tester. On top of all that, they decided to use Copilot's sloppy coding capabilities to write 20 to 30% of "some" of their projects' code base. These two reasons are exactly why you have random issues that appear with a new Windows Update. There is also the fact that Windows 11 has insane amount of telemetry to both track you extremely effectively and to report back diagnostics. Even if you disable every privacy setting the Settings app lets you toggle, the telemetry that's going on in your system is still a lot. That's why you should consider using an operating system that respects you and your boundaries, have a proper QA process, and most importantly, developed by volunteers that don't have monetization incentives yet still do an excellent job at what they do. Linux is exactly that. So I made a list of every Linux distro that deserves recognition.
Closest to the classic Windows UI. Zero friction, just works.
Polished UI with Windows and macOS layout modes built in. Great first distro.
Debian base. Extremely light on system resources.
Built on the same tech as the Steam Deck. Gaming first, OS second.
Arch-based with aggressive kernel and scheduler patches for maximum frame rates.
Fedora-based, pre-patched for maximum gaming performance.
Excellent Wayland support, cutting-edge packages, highly customizable.
You build it, you own it. Rolling release, minimal base, unmatched AUR package coverage.
The only mature, actually functional option for Apple Silicon.
Boring in the absolute best way possible. Rock-solid for servers and desktops alike.
1:1 RHEL binary compatible, community-owned, and built specifically to replace CentOS.
Founded by the original CentOS creator. Enterprise-grade stability, no Red Hat strings attached.
SELinux enabled by default, FOSS-first, minimal corporate bloat.
What Now? (The 3-Step Guide)
- Download the ISO from the official distribution website.
- Flash a USB drive using Ventoy. Ventoy lets you drag and drop the ISO file onto the USB drive like a normal folder.
- Boot from the USB and follow the graphical installer.
These recommendations come from someone who has actually migrated grandparents, a family engineering firm, and themselves across multiple machines.
Escape Edge
Edge is Chrome with Microslop's telemetry, shopping ads, Copilot jammed into the sidebar, and a wallet feature nobody asked for. It exists entirely to keep you inside Microslop's ecosystem and pipe your browsing data back to their servers. The good news is there are genuinely good alternatives that take about 90 seconds to install.
Escape Bing
Bing powers Edge's default search, Copilot's web results, Windows search suggestions, and the ChatGPT partnership. It is Microslop's data collection pipeline disguised as a search engine. The results are also just worse.
Escape GitHub & npm
Microslop bought GitHub in 2018 for $7.5 billion and immediately used your open source code to train Copilot without asking. They also own npm through GitHub, meaning the package registry that half the JavaScript ecosystem depends on is in the same hands. Every public repo you push and every package you publish feeds the machine.
For packages: rely on your distro's package manager first.
Escape VS Code
Escape Copilot
Escape Office & Teams
Escape OneNote
Escape Outlook
Escape Teams and Skype
Escape OneDrive & Cloud Lock-in
Escape the Edge Password Manager
Edge's built-in password manager syncs your credentials to your Microslop account by default. That means Microslop's servers, US jurisdiction, and one account compromise away from losing access to everything. A dedicated password manager is not optional at this point. It is basic security hygiene.
Escape Microslop Authenticator and Entra ID
Microslop Authenticator is not a simple TOTP generator. It is a proprietary gateway designed to register your personal mobile device into your employer's MDM system, harvest compliance telemetry, and lock your organization into Entra ID through proprietary push notifications. The open standards for authentication have existed for decades. Microslop just made sure you did not use them.
Hardware Keys (FIDO2)
The most secure approach. Eliminates smartphone dependency entirely. Phishing-resistant by design, no proprietary client code, zero tracking data.
Best for: organizations handling sensitive data, government, finance, healthcare.
Open Source Software TOTP (RFC 6238)
If hardware keys aren't feasible, configure your tenant to allow standard TOTP rather than forcing the Microslop app. Any RFC 6238 compliant app works.
For individuals
Replace the Identity Provider
The real escape. Cut the cord at the directory level and stop paying Entra ID licensing fees.
Full replacement
If your organization is deeply embedded in Microslop 365 and Entra ID, the authenticator app is the least of your problems. Tiers 1 and 2 get you off the app. Tier 3 gets you off Microslop identity infrastructure entirely. Most organizations should start with Tier 2 while planning Tier 3.
Escape Azure
Azure runs a significant chunk of the internet, which is exactly the problem. The July 2024 CrowdStrike incident took down 8.5 million Windows machines simultaneously because too much global infrastructure runs on one platform. Airlines, hospitals, banks, and emergency services all went down together. That is not a CrowdStrike problem. That is a monoculture problem. For developers: there are better, cheaper, European alternatives listed below.
Escape LinkedIn
Microslop bought LinkedIn in 2016 for $26 billion and has been slowly monetizing your professional graph ever since. In 2024 they got caught silently opting everyone into AI training on their personal data without telling anyone. Your career history, your connections, your private messages, all of it feeding Microslop's models. Delete it if you can. Scrub it if you cannot.
Escape Microslop Bloat in Minecraft
Microslop bought Mojang in 2014 for $2.5 billion, forced all Java Edition players to migrate to Microslop accounts in 2022 or lose access to a game they already paid for, and Bedrock Edition is a microtransaction marketplace that charges real money for things that are free mods on Java. Notch himself coined the term Microslop. The game is still good. The launcher does not have to be theirs.
Avoid Bedrock Edition. Stick to Java Edition. The Bedrock ecosystem is designed entirely around microtransactions.
Escape Microslop Design Tools
Visio costs a fortune, Paint is a joke, Clipchamp shoves a watermark on your videos unless you pay, and Designer is Copilot with a canvas. Every one of these has a better free alternative listed below that does not require a Microslop account, a subscription, or sending your creative work to Redmond.
