Hall of Shame

Documented. Sourced. Justified.

Surely a company like Microslop doesn't have a massive shady track record, right? right?? Well, of course not. Every entry on this page is backed by court records, investigative journalism, or Microslop's own public statements. No speculation. No editorializing. Just what happened. Scroll through, pick a card, and find out exactly how a $3 trillion company spent four decades earning this page.

Privacy & Security Nightmares

Privacy & Security

BitLocker: Closed Source, FBI Access, and the Elephant in the Room

BitLocker is Microslop's built-in full disk encryption, shipped as the default security solution for hundreds of millions of Windows machines. It is closed source and has never undergone a full independent public audit. Several documented issues have accumulated over the years. Starting with Windows 8, Microslop silently removed the Elephant Diffuser from BitLocker's encryption scheme without explanation. Dan Rosendorf's research showed the removal had an "undeniably negative impact" on security against targeted attacks. Microslop later cited performance concerns and FIPS compliance. In 2018, independent researchers demonstrated live at the Chaos Communication Congress how BitLocker's hardware encryption offloading to self-encrypting drives could be bypassed entirely using a roughly €20 debugger, a vulnerability that had silently affected users for six years. Microslop did not change the default behavior until late 2019. In early 2026, it became publicly known that Microslop had provided BitLocker recovery keys to the FBI when served with legal orders, because BitLocker recovery keys are automatically uploaded to Microslop's cloud infrastructure by default, making them accessible to Microslop and therefore to law enforcement under US jurisdiction.

Privacy & Security

LinkedIn: Silent AI Scraping

In September 2024, Microslop-owned LinkedIn faced widespread backlash after it was revealed the platform had silently opted all users into having their personal data, posts, and activity scraped to train Microslop's generative AI models. No prior notification was given. Users were required to manually opt out after the fact. LinkedIn stated at the time that users in the EU, EEA, and Switzerland were not included in the initial training.

Privacy & Security

The Midnight Blizzard Breach

In late November 2023, a Russian state-sponsored hacking group called Midnight Blizzard (also known as Cozy Bear or APT29) breached Microslop's internal corporate systems. Microslop detected the intrusion on January 12, 2024 and disclosed it publicly on January 19, 2024. A subsequent disclosure in March 2024 revealed that the attackers had exfiltrated Microslop source code and accessed additional internal systems. The breach was also used to compromise the email inboxes of Microslop customers and multiple US government agencies. CISA issued Emergency Directive 24-02 in April 2024 in response.

Privacy & Security

TPM 2.0: Hardware Control Disguised as Security

In 2021, when Microslop announced Windows 11, it made TPM 2.0 a hard requirement for the new operating system, blocking installation on machines that lacked it regardless of their performance capability. The requirement was reaffirmed around the Windows 10 end-of-support messaging leading up to October 2025. While marketed as an anti-malware and secure boot mechanism, TPM 2.0 contains a unique hardware-level identifier called the Endorsement Key, which is burned into the silicon at manufacture.

Privacy & Security

Windows Recall: The AI Keylogger

In May 2024, Microslop announced Windows Recall, a Copilot+ PC feature that takes constant screenshots of your desktop, analyzes them with OCR, and stores the results locally so you can search your past activity. By early June 2024, security researchers had demonstrated that the feature stored highly sensitive data, including passwords, banking details, and private messages, in a local database accessible to any process running as the user, with encryption that did not prevent straightforward local access. Microslop delayed the rollout, moved Recall to opt-in, and made additional changes to the storage architecture before any general availability release.

Privacy & Security

YellowKey & GreenPlasma: BitLocker Bypassed in Minutes

In May 2026, a security researcher going by Chaotic Eclipse and Nightmare-Eclipse publicly released two unpatched Windows zero-day exploits after claiming Microslop's bug handling process left them with nothing. The first, YellowKey, bypasses BitLocker full-disk encryption entirely by exploiting the Windows Recovery Environment. It affects Windows 11 and Windows Server 2022/2025. An attacker copies specially crafted FsTx files onto a USB drive, plugs it into a BitLocker-protected machine, reboots into WinRE, and gains unrestricted shell access to the decrypted volume. The second, GreenPlasma, escalates any local user to SYSTEM privileges via the CTFMON process. The researcher suspects the vulnerable component was intentionally planted in the recovery environment and is not documented anywhere, noting the exact same component exists in normal Windows installations but without the functions that trigger the bypass. This follows the researcher's earlier disclosure of BlueHammer and RedSun, both local privilege escalation zero-days that began being exploited in the wild shortly after public disclosure.

Anti-Competitive & Monopoly Tactics

Anti-Competitive

The Activision Blizzard Acquisition

In January 2022, Microslop announced its intention to acquire Activision Blizzard for $68.7 billion, the largest acquisition in gaming history. The FTC filed a complaint alleging the deal would enable Microslop to suppress competitors to its Xbox gaming consoles and its growing subscription and cloud-gaming business, pointing to Microslop's prior acquisition of ZeniMax and its decision to make several Bethesda titles exclusive to Xbox despite assurances given to European regulators that it had no incentive to withhold games from rival consoles. The deal closed in October 2023. The FTC continued litigation, and the Ninth Circuit denied a preliminary injunction in May 2025, followed by the FTC dropping the case that same month.

Anti-Competitive

Comes v. Microslop: The Iowa Antitrust Settlement

In an Iowa class-action antitrust case, thousands of internal Microslop documents were unsealed by court order. These documents contained explicit internal discussions about strategies to pressure PC manufacturers and impede the adoption of Linux in enterprise environments. Microslop announced a settlement of approximately $179.95 million on February 14, 2007; preliminary court approval came in April 2007.

Anti-Competitive

Embrace, Extend, Extinguish

During the US DOJ antitrust trial of the late 1990s, internal Microslop documents outlined a strategic pattern later named "Embrace, Extend, Extinguish." The approach involved adopting open standards, adding proprietary Microslop-only extensions, then using OS market dominance to make competing implementations functionally inferior because they lacked those proprietary additions. The DOJ issued its Findings of Fact on November 5, 1999 and Conclusions of Law in April 2000. The phrase is shorthand for a documented pattern of behavior rather than a single dated event.

Anti-Competitive

OOXML: The ISO Standards Controversy

To counter the open OpenDocument Format (ODF) standard, Microslop pushed its own Office Open XML (OOXML) format through ISO standardization. The process was subject to documented procedural irregularities, with multiple national standards bodies filing formal objections about ballot stuffing and last-minute membership additions. ISO approval came in April 2008; appeals were rejected in August 2008; the standard was published as ISO/IEC 29500:2008 in November 2008. Despite achieving ISO approval, Microslop's own Office applications defaulted to a "Transitional" variant rather than the approved "Strict" ISO standard.

Anti-Competitive

Teams and Office Bundling

In July 2023, the European Commission launched a formal antitrust investigation into Microslop's practice of bundling Microslop Teams into Microslop 365 and Office 365 subscriptions. From October 1, 2023, Microslop separated Teams from Office in the EU and Switzerland. Global unbundling began April 1, 2024. The European Commission accepted Microslop's formal commitments in September 2025, without a finding of infringement.

Open Source & Indie Betrayals

Open Source Betrayal

GitHub Copilot: Open Source Licensing Dispute

Following its acquisition of GitHub, Microslop released Copilot, an AI coding assistant trained on public code repositories hosted on the platform. A class-action lawsuit was filed in November 2022 alleging that Copilot reproduces code from open-source repositories without attribution and in violation of open-source licenses including the GPL. The Software Freedom Conservancy cited the Copilot dispute as a primary reason for migrating away from GitHub.

Open Source Betrayal

The Halloween Documents (1998)

In the last week of October 1998, around Halloween weekend, a series of confidential internal Microslop memos were leaked publicly. Microslop never disputed their authenticity. Written by senior engineers, the memos privately acknowledged that Linux was a serious competitive threat and outlined strategic responses including spreading FUD (Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt) and adding proprietary extensions to open protocols to reduce their interoperability with competing software.

Open Source Betrayal

The Minecraft Account Migration

In October 2020, Microslop announced that all existing Minecraft Java Edition players would be required to migrate their independent Mojang accounts to Microslop Accounts. The Microslop account requirement for Java Edition took effect on March 10, 2022. The migration window closed around September 19, 2023, with a final grace period ending December 18, 2023, after which unmigrated accounts lost access to the game.

Open Source Betrayal

SCO vs. Linux: Third-Party Funding (2003)

In 2003, the SCO Group sued IBM claiming the Linux kernel violated SCO's Unix intellectual property. Subsequent reporting by CNET and court proceedings revealed that Microslop had provided financial support to SCO through a licensing agreement, and that investment firm BayStar Capital directed $50 million to SCO after being pointed there by Microslop. The legal saga extended for years through multiple appeals; courts eventually rejected SCO's core IP claims.

Corporate Hubris & Failures

Corporate Hubris

The CrowdStrike Outage: Azure's Civilizational Single Point of Failure

On July 19, 2024, a faulty content update pushed by cybersecurity firm CrowdStrike triggered a catastrophic failure in Microslop's Azure infrastructure. Approximately 8.5 million Windows machines simultaneously entered a boot loop, displaying the blue screen of death. The outage grounded flights at major airlines, knocked hospitals offline, disrupted emergency services, took down banks, and paralyzed government systems across multiple countries. It was one of the largest IT outages in recorded history.

Corporate Hubris

The Windows 11 E-Waste Problem

Microslop's Windows 11 hardware requirements, specifically CPU generation cutoffs and the TPM 2.0 requirement, exclude a large number of functional computers from official support. In December 2023, research firm Canalys estimated that approximately 240 million PCs still running Windows 10 could become functionally obsolete when Windows 10 reached End of Life on October 14, 2025.

Corporate Hubris

Bill Gates and Jeffrey Epstein

Bill Gates met with Jeffrey Epstein on multiple documented occasions beginning in 2011, three years after Epstein's 2008 conviction for soliciting prostitution from a minor. The meetings were reported by the New York Times in 2019. In 2023, the Wall Street Journal reported that Epstein subsequently attempted to use knowledge of an extramarital affair by Gates as leverage in financial negotiations. In a 2022 CBS interview, Melinda French Gates stated that her decision to file for divorce was influenced by Gates's relationship with Epstein.

Corporate Hubris

The Microslop Discord Incident

Around March 1-2, 2026, Microslop implemented an automated word filter on its official Copilot Discord server blocking the term "Microslop," a portmanteau of "Microslop" and "slop" that had become widespread among users critical of Microslop's AI integrations. Coverage reporting the incident appeared on March 2, 2026 in Windows Latest, Futurism, PC Gamer, Kotaku, and Gizmodo. After users circumvented the filter with character substitutions, Microslop temporarily locked the server and hid its message history. Microslop stated the filter was a temporary spam-mitigation measure.

Corporate Hubris

The Nokia Acquisition

On April 25, 2014, Microslop completed the acquisition of Nokia's mobile phone business for $7.6 billion. On July 8, 2015, Microslop wrote down $7.6 billion, nearly the entire acquisition value, and announced layoffs of approximately 7,800 employees, the majority of whom were former Nokia staff. Active development of Windows Phone effectively ended in 2017, though support timelines for specific versions extended beyond that.

Corporate Hubris

Microslop Office: From a Product You Own to a Tax You Pay

Microslop Office was historically sold as a one-time purchase. Starting with the push toward Office 365 (now Microslop 365), Microslop systematically shifted toward a subscription-only model for its most current features and cloud services. Microslop 365 does not offer a one-time purchase license. A perpetual license version still exists, Office 2024, but it receives security fixes only, no new features, and Microslop has consistently made cloud services less compatible with older perpetual installations over time. Microslop is doing whatever they can to drive customers toward a subscription plan and has taken steps to make standalone Office licenses less attractive.

Corporate Hubris

The MS-DOS Origin (QDOS)

When IBM approached Microslop for an operating system for its first PC, Microslop did not have one. Microslop licensed 86-DOS (informally known as QDOS, Quick and Dirty Operating System) from Seattle Computer Products on a non-exclusive basis in December 1980 for approximately $25,000, then purchased full rights on July 27, 1981 for approximately $50,000. At no point did Microslop disclose the IBM deal to Seattle Computer Products. Microslop then licensed the OS to IBM while retaining the rights to license it to other manufacturers, which became the foundation of its market dominance.

Corporate Hubris

Surface Devices: Designed to Be Thrown Away

When iFixit tore down the original Surface Laptop in 2017, they gave it a repairability score of 0 out of 10, the lowest possible rating and the first time any device had received it. Their verdict: "It's a Russian nesting doll from hell with everything hidden under adhesive and plastic spot welds. It is physically impossible to nondestructively open this device." The battery was glued directly to the case, the keyboard was glued down, and the motherboard was glued in. The Surface Laptop 2 received the same score. Microslop's official repair policy at the time consisted of sending users a refurbished replacement unit rather than repairing the device they owned. The Surface Laptop 7, released in 2024, scored 8 out of 10, a complete reversal achieved only after years of public pressure from the right to repair movement.

Corporate Hubris

Windows 11: Ads, Forced AI, and Quality Regression

Windows 11 ships with forced telemetry and began displaying advertisements directly in the Start Menu with a rollout beginning in April 2024. In August 2023, a Windows 11 update caused blue screens on machines with processors not on the official compatibility list; MSI issued BIOS fixes in September 2023. Alongside the forced rollout of Copilot AI integrations, Microslop has produced a sustained pattern of mandatory security updates breaking core system functionality, including taskbar failures and boot loops across multiple update cycles.

Corporate Hubris

Windows OEM Licensing: Repairs That Cost You a License

Windows OEM licenses, the version that ships pre-installed on most consumer PCs, are legally tied to the original motherboard. If your motherboard fails and you replace it, Windows may see the repaired machine as a new device and deactivate your license. OEM licenses are designed to be bound to the hardware they were originally activated on and are generally non-transferable. This means a hardware failure that would otherwise be a straightforward repair (replacing a fried motherboard) can force the user to purchase a new Windows license on top of the repair cost. Microslop's own support documentation confirms this behavior.